Something that God has been teaching me in my season of singleness is something that I think every woman who is single regardless of age should know.

Too often I see couples who start dating too quickly, and eventually end up married too quickly. I won’t get into the whys behind this. However there are severe dangers in doing this.

When we jump in to relationships so fast we miss warning signs and later that breeds the big problem of rationalization and justification of wrongdoings…

We all seek one thing that we absolutely need – love.

Without love we would fade away and die. Unfortunately most of us seek to fill that void from everything or anyone EXCEPT our Creator. Who is truly the only One that can fill that void and continue to satisfy that need within us completely.

Because we seek for love but do not know Love Himself, women – myself included have a tendency to overlook red flags or we even try to rationalize or justify why that certain man is uncommunicative, or why he doesn’t have an established job, or even why it was our fault that he flew off the handle when we tried to establish a boundary.

Fighting against our desires rather than chasing that feeling for that certain someone is hard but when we submit those feelings to God it removes those rose colored glasses so that we can see who the man behind the mask truly is. When we shut down the rationalizing as to why they are uncommunicative, struggle to commit, or why they are so hot and cold we begin to learn discernment of character and in this culture where it is so common to come across manipulation, narcissism, and abuse it is a tool and a weapon against evil we as women need in this world.

Just a reminder: It is okay to set boundaries to protect yourself, it is okay to even tell someone that you need to move on and cut them off, it’s okay to cry about it when you grieve what should have been but because of that other person’s brokeness it never would have been. We have a God who wants to cry with us in those moments!

Remember, it is not selfish to place your needs over someone else’s wants.

The next time you catch yourself rationalizing a man’s red flag because he’s so attractive and tall and has green eyes (or whatever it is that floats your boat) rebuke those thoughts in Jesus’ name and submit your desires to Him. In those moments of weakness is when Gods grace does the most powerful transformations that will turn you into a stronger, wiser and better woman.